Welcome to the Likernet… like ‘er or not
The Internet was a great prototype for geeks and knowledge-worker bees.
But the cool kids and average folks have arrived, and the Internet has been kind of a mess for them — what with spammers and phishers and predators and nutballs all over.
So now Facebook brings us the successor to the Internet: the Likernet.
Instead of the Internet’s web of links, the Likernet offers a social graph of likes.
What the hell was a “link”, anyway? And “web” sounds like something you’re stuck in before a spider eats you. I know what I like, and it’s not chains and spiders.
The Internet interprets censorship as damage and routes around it, which was kind of nice. Unfortunately the Internet also interprets every unguarded email, form, website, and program as an opening into which to spray its unsolicited marketing, harassment, and malware.
In the Likernet, things only come to you from friends. I like friends. Who doesn’t? In the Likernet, you don’t need filters and antivirus software — a stern look or sarcastic remark is enough to let your friend know when they should cut out the monkey business.
Google did a bang-up job of making the anarchic shantytown Internet habitable, with their rankings and filters and reported-attack warnings and sandboxes, but Google can now take some well-earned time off. The shiny Facebook highrises are ready for occupancy, with their reliable doormen and standard modern social plugin appliances.
Facebook’s Likernet is a bright, safe, sanitary metropolis. It’s like Singapore, but in cyberspace with 100 times more citizens. Most current Internet residents will prefer to move to the Likernet. And even if you don’t want to move, you may find the Likernet rising all around you, leaving older Internet districts as blighted slums.